February is MY month

January came and went.
I felt sluggish most of the month.
I quit trying, for a little while and I feel like I needed that.

I got onto iHerb.com and decided to order some prenatals with Folate, and I ordered some Folate supplements. As you all know, I had my first son with spontaneous Spina Bifida, so I am required to take 4mg of Folic Acid/Folate prior to TTC another. (Normal women TTC are recommended to take 400-800mcg of FA).

I sometimes get super motivated, and then chicken out. Like with school, with work, with chores.
I want to do it so bad and I feel like I would accomplish so much, and then fear hits me.
What if I fail? What if I'm not happy with my results?
That is why I took January off. I quit taking my prenatals because I realized, taking Folic Acid was probably doing me more harm than good. And it made me feel like a failure.

Then I asked myself... if not now, when?
I need to pull my head out of my butt and get this show on the road. I'm being selfish. I'm making myself a victim.

But February will be my month.
I'm currently 6DPO, but not symptom spotting since my husband and I BD once during fertile week, and once the day after ovulation.

As you recall, we were fighting a lot.

So, here's to AF showing again in 8 days or so, and starting all over again.

Which is worse?

There are so many people who say trying to conceive should be fun

Those people are obviously the ones who have never tried.


It's like the damn military, everything is all "HURRY UP AND WAIT."
We're always waiting for something.

We're waiting for that first positive ovulation test.
We're waiting for the dye to finally quit running.
We're waiting for fertile week on our app.
We're waiting for the thermometer to beep.

Then we're waiting for any symptom at all to mean something.
We're waiting for someone to comment on our post to give us some kind of hope.
We're waiting for our tests to come in the mail.
We're waiting for our paycheck, so we can blow it on some more tests.
We're waiting, again, for that dye to stop running.


And now we're waiting for the dreaded time in our menstrual cycle we call "Aunt Flo".
There are many names for her, but the bottom line is, she's the most unwanted visitor of them all.
It's the worst thing to wait for.
I'm now 14 Days Past Ovulation, and all of my tests are coming up negative.

A week ago I started craving chocolate.
I should have given up then.

On we go, to Cycle #4. Just waiting for that one red headed family member to show her ugly face.
Another one bites the dust.